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Saturday, August 21, 2010

To muslim husbands ...

A good chance in this Holly month for some husbands to strengthen character and their relationships with their wives ;)


1. Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquillity) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE

2. When you go home say 'Assalamu 3leikom. '  It kicks the sheytaan out of ur home!

3. Rasool (saw) described the wife as a fragile vessel and said to take care of this vessel that’s fragile. Remember that there is goodness in this vessel so treat it gently.

4. When u advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment. NOT IN PUBLIC as it’s a type of slandering.

5. Be generous to ur wife- it keeps her LOVED

6. Move and let her have ur seat. It will warm her heart.

7. AVIOD ANGER. HOW? Keep ur wudhu at all times. Rasool (saw) said if u are angry, sit down, if u’re sitting, then lie down. Follow the sunnah!

8. Look good and smell great for ur wife. IT keeps the LOVE!

9. Don’t be rigid. It will break u. Prophet Mohammed (saw) said 'I am the best amongst u and I am the best to my wife'. Being rigid and harsh will not bring u close to Allah and neither does it make u more of a man.

10. Listen to ur wife -BE a GOOD LISTENER

11. YES to flattering NO to arguing. Arguing is like poison in a marriage. Al zawai said 'When Allah (swt) wants evil for people He will leave them to argue amongst themselves'.

12. Prophet (saw) said to call ur wives with the best name, any name she loves to hear. He (saw) called Aisha 'ya Aish' as an endearment.

13. Give her a pleasant surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring her one out of the blue. It will grow the love in her heart.

14. Preserve ur tongue! Rasool (saw) said the tongue will throw people in the hell fire so watch what u say and how u say it!

15. All of us have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt) will put barakah in ur marriage.

16. TELL her u appreciate her. SHOW her u appreciate her.

17. Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mum and dad etc.

18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.

19. In front of her relative praise her. Confirm/ realize that she is wonderful, and that she is a good person in front of her family.

20. Give each other gifts. U will love each other more. Rasool (saw) said gifts increases love.

21. Get rid of the routine once in a while, surprise her with something, it will get rid of the rust and polish it!

22. Husnul zaan- We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to think good of people. Think good of ur spouse.

23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend u did not see/hear some of her small mistakes. It was a practice of Ali (RA). It’s like putting a hole in ur memory. Don’t save it in ur memory!

24. Increase the drops of patience, especially when she is pregnant or when she is on her monthly period.

25. Expect and respect her jealousy. Even Aisha (ra) used to get jealous.

26. Be humble. If ur profession is good, respect that she is looking after ur children, she is much more than u, she is the leader at home, her strength is ur strength, and her success is ur success.

27. Don't put ur friends above ur wife.

28. Help ur wife at home. Rasool (saw) used to help his wives at home and he was the best of creation. He used to sew his own clothes.

29. Help her respect ur parents, u can’t force her to love them, but she can be helped to gradually love them.

30. Show ur wife she is the ideal wife.

31. Remember ur wife in ur du3aas. It will increase the love and protect it.

32. Leave the past. It brings nothing but pain and grief. It’s not ur business. The past is for Allah (swt).

33. Don't try to show her that u are doing her a favour by doing something, like buying food for the house, because in reality man are the courier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the provider. It’s also a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)

34. Sheytaan is ur enemy, not ur wife. Sometime when husband and wife are talking a fight breaks out, then sheytaan is present there as a third person so he is the real enemy. It is not enough to hate the sheytaan, but u have to see him as an enemy as Allah has commanded. Sheytaan loves divorce. HE comes everyday and sits office and asks the devils what they have done, some say i have made a person steal, or i have made someone drink etc. And one devil will say i have made a man divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the one who has done the best job.

35. Take the food and put it in her mouth. Rasool (saw) taught us this. It’s a blessing. The food doesn’t just go to her stomach, but straight to her heart. It increases the love and mercy between u.

36. Protect ur wife from the evil of the sheytaan and mankind. She is like a precious pearl that needs protecting from the envy of human devils and sheytaan.

37. Show her ur smile. Smile at ur wife. IT’S A CHARITY.

38. Small problems/ challenges can become a big problem. Or if there is small thing she didn't like and u keep repeating them anyway, it will create a wall between u. Don’t ignore them as it can become big.

39. Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. Allah said of prophet (saw) 'if u were harsh hearted they (the companions) would have left u.' It confirms Rasool (saw) was not harsh hearted, so GET RID OF IT.

40. Respect her thinking. It’s strength for u. Show u like her thoughts and suggestions.

41. Help her to achieve her potential and help her to dig and find success within as her success is ur success.

42. Respect the intimate relationship and its boundaries. Prophet (saw) said she is like a fragile vessel and she needs to be treated tenderly. Sometime she may not be feeling well; u must respect and appreciate that feeling.

43. Help her to take care of the children. Some men think it makes them appear less of a man but in fact it makes u appear a bigger man and more respected, especially in the sight of Allah (swt).

44. Use the gifts of the tongue and sweet talk her. Tell her she looks great, be an artist. Pick and choose gifts of the tongue.

45. Sit down and eat with her and share food with her.

46. Let her know u are travelling. Don't tell her out of the blue as it’s against Islam. Tell her the date/ time of when u are coming back also.

47. Don't leave the house as soon as trouble brews.

48. The house has privacy and secrecy. Once u take this privacy and secrecy to ur friends and family u are in danger of putting a serious hole in ur marriage. This secrecy stays home. Islam is against leaving them out like a garage sale for anyone to come and pick and choose.

49. Encourage each other for ibadah, i.e. plan a trip for hajj or umrah together. It increases and strengthens the love when u help each other perform a good deeds together i.e, do tahajuud together,or go to a dars together etc.

50. Know her rights, not only written in paper but engraved in ur heart and engraved in your conscious.

51. Allah( swt) said 'live with ur wives in kindness.' Treat them with kindness and goodness. It means in happy times and in sadness treat her with goodness and fairness.

52. Prophet (saw) showed that at the time of intimacy. Don’t jump on ur wife like an animal!

53. When u have a dispute with ur wife don’t tell everyone. It’s like leaving ur wounds open to germs so be careful who u share ur problems and disputes with.

54. Show ur wife u really care for her health. Good health of ur wife is ur good health. To care for her health shows her that u love her.

55. Don’t think u are always right. No matter how good u are u have shortcomings. U are not perfect as the only one who was perfect in character was Rasool (saw) Get rid of this disease.

56. Share ur problems, ur happiness, and ur sadness with her.

57. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong as she is the fragile vessel. Prophet (saw) said that ur wife is a trust in ur hand.

58. Remember u are her strength, someone to lean on in times of hardship.

59. Accept her as she is. Rasool (saw) said that women are created from the rib which is bent. If u try to straighten her u will break her (divorce). He (saw) also said that u may dislike one habit in her but u will like another manner in her so accept her as she is.

60. Have good intention for ur wife all the time, Allah ( swt) monitors ur intention and ur heart at all times. Allah (s.w.t) said Among His Signs is that He created for u wives from among urselves, that u may find repose in them, and He has put between u affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.


IamSilla said...

i love this post so much :)

Anonymous said...

mashallah this is great!!! can i post it on my blog?


angie nader said...

thanks for sharing...this is good weather or not the man is muslim :)

Jaz said...

I wish my husband would do at least one of those things :P This list is the makings of the perfect man.

♥ Arab Mania ♥ said...

My dear "Anya" u don't have to ask my permission in copying the things from my blog.. U r free do it, collect anything u wish from my blos and share it with ur friends !

Ya 7abebty "Jaz" any woman wish her husband to be perfect,but we know it's impossible..at least the things he is doing must be appreciated :)
Wish u my dear a blessed Ramadhan and that ur husband will be one of the pious,gentle and kindest of the husbands...
May God strenghten us on this Holly month and not only for a month, but always...
Hugs n kisses xoxo

Anonymous said...

this os so nice one for the woman would be great too! :)

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